we're blogging at a bar
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
