you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
