You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
