so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
