I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
