the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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