I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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