i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
