Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
