i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so let's talk penis.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
