If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i came on her dog
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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