It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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