In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
