I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I need water and some morals
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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