As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
