why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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