Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
