If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
