C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
