just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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