I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
