you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Never underestimate the power of titties
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
