ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
