oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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