So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
