how can u be prego again
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
