He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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