Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
