everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
