I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
