it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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