Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
smell my finger.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
