Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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