North Korea, Best Korea!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
