id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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