Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We got so high we made milksteak
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
