i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
