what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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