did you get engaged???
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
