I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
