look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
