Who did Billy Mays play for?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
