Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
