Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
