have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
