This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
