so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
