i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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