In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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