well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I wear drunk well.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
