Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So much Jack, so little girl.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
