Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Life is so much better after having sex.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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