1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
