is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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