Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
