Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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